Please dont Go

I see you little one, helping me keep calm through the storms

Helping me to understand what importance of who I am

Making sure that I know what it is and how to love

 

Your innocence is your greatest weapon, it disarms the most hardened of harts

Those that would engage armies of darkness, cannot resist your honesty

 

The truth that lies within in your eyes and totality of your embrace

Makes me understand my own depravity and truly appreciate my Grace

Never surrender who you are

For the Broken

Hey there teddybear put down that broken glass

I know that your hurting and theres no happyness

Hey there teddybear things arent what they seem

Your trapped in the wreckeage of all your broken dreams

Hey there Teddybear whats with those marks on your sleave

Is this life you live so full of darkness you'll do anything to leave

Hey There Teddybear whats with those tears in your eyes

Behind you smile, behind your face I can see thorugh those lies

Hey there Teddybear  You've cut to deep

You wanted to leave, now your laying down to sleep

Hey there Teddybear put down that broken glass

Just hold on to my hand now and we will leave this mess

Hey There Teddybear You know how much I love you

Stay here with me child and we will pull through

Hey there

Teddybear

Hey There

My letter to you

Dont be fooled by voices saying that your not good enough

I'm proud of everything you do

There are going to be those in your life who tell you lies. They are going to say your not pretty enough. you need to be taller, Thiner, tanner skin, lighter hair, pretty face, the right clothes, money, power. The truth is none of these things matter.

I'm proud of everything you do

Be true to who you are. you were made special for a purpose. There is no reason to be like anybody else, because your not anybody else

Dont let other people tell you who to be

I'm proud of everything you do

What is, and what isn't

You ever walk around with your eyes closed. I dont mean literally, I mean your spiritual eyes. I was just thinking the other day how lately the only interaction with faith I have had has been with my close friends. Don't get me wrong, thats awesome. Its so good to be with other people and to talk about, well, anything. But I was thinking, when was the last time I talk faith or any serious talk with someone I didnt know that well.

This made me think that I have been walking with my eyes closed. I go to class, sit there, leave. Go to class, sit there, leave. I go to the store, get what I want, leave. Its the same thing everywhere, gas station, movies theatre, church. Go to a place get what I want/need and then leave. But am I really even looking? Am I seeing all there really is to see? Hmmm probably not.

I have this thing, where I like to help poeple. Sometimes I feel like I need to help people. There have been times where I hav felt like I needed to save the world. Then I remembered that Jesus did already. So its not really necessary, what I need is to pay attention to where and What Gods direction is. But if my eyes are closed thats pretty hard. Thats basically like playing Marco Polo with God, but he always wins, cause he's God.

In class we talked about Isaiah today. Cool guy. Isaiah said to the Israelites to have faith and be patient throughout any circumstance. Those are pretty good words. Maybe my eyes are closed cause Im worried I will see the circumstances. I worry a lot.

So today, Im making sure to open my eyes. Because there is something bigger out there than circumstances. Way Bigger (God).

P.S. In case no one else tells you today, I love you and so does God

What I stopped Posting...WHY?

My bad

For real though, its been like a crazy long time since I posted. Well here is the fast and skinny of whats been going down.

School ended last semester. I wish I could say well. The project on cutting was absolutely incredible. I learned so much, and even though we haven't been able to tell the city yet, people have been informed and its a good feeling.

The next semester of school has just started and Im not sure how I feel. I will be almost done with my Bible classes after this semester which is pretty cool. It feels like school takes forever and finally seeing an end is good. Well kinda of end. Social work will take me at least another year. We will see how it goes.

I still have no job. Which is sad, really sad. A very cool residential home here almost hired me, but they called me the week before break so I was gone and they went with someone else. Its ok, the interviews went well, I met the director and am just waiting for thier call.

Break was amazing, Follow the star was so great. I love doing that. I went to Toronto with my fiance, and spent a week with my birth mom. It was a wonderful bonding experience.

So here we are. Its cold outside, there is snow, and im back at school. Hmmm. Lame.

God keeps showing up though. Like in my roomate, he is a cool guy, just got back from Africa and I can tell the expereince was really good for him. My fiance and I are helping out a local church. There youth group is dead. Not dying, its dead. There are two kids we have seen in three weeks of being there and they come because thier parents make them. Its gonna take Jesus to get kids excited and coming back there. But I am optimistic

Well anways. I love you, yeah thats right I said it.

you get what you need

I'm starring at my laptop again contemplaiting.

Contomplaiting what you say? Well many a thing infact. All of a sudden out a nowhere a thought has hit me. That thought was simply - "DO STUFF".

Sounds pretty simply right, do stuff. What kind of stuff, well any kind of course. I am a guy on many ideas but little follow through. Its just the way I am. But for real though, why not do things.

Since late August, when school started I have had this wierd notion. That since I have been engaged my "real" life started. I needed a good career path, financial inedpendance, and a solid plan for future. now take a second. Thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Where excactly in the bible does it say anything about that.

Now, I am not saying like a drop everything head to the nearest jungle and preach. For some that is there calling. For me not so much, but I would all in though.

What I am saying, it do something. I enjoy having fun. I really need to have it more often. I like to sing, to play music, to laugh, to write, to help people, to talk, play sports, talk about Jesus, do things like that.

Ok, so for real. Here is my hiphopethis (thats hypothesis just in case). I

1. Have a understable debt due to college
2. and in college have more to go but am on track
3. will getting married May 30th (woohoo)
4. Have a car that is literally falling apart
5. Have no job (not for lack of effort)
6. Have large amounts of stress that cause me physical and pschological problems
7. Will be fine no matter what, cause Jesus loves me

Lets focus on number 7. So if I am in school, why not try to start a career in comedy (im thinking about it). Why not submitt written material for publication (working on it). Why not release a Christmas album (but for real though, I have always wanted too). Why not talk to people about Jesus (its good stuff). Why not enjoy life.

It my previous blog, I talked about trails being joy. Thats still a tough one to swallow. but How about life being a joy. Taking God with me everywhere I go. If you read this, please remind me to stop being lame, and to DO STUFF.

Thanks, Godbless and Goodnight

Someone Stand Up: Cutting Part 2

Well here is the update so far. As you can see from the last blog, There has been a lot of other things distracting me from my schoolwork, but my group and I still make progress. through our research we have found a major problem. So few people know anything about it, and THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO FOR HELP! I mean come on. Right now I am in Grand Rapids and there is no physical location to go get help or information. There are a few services, and basically any Psychologist can give treatment. But come on, there is not one place that specializes in it, there is no place to go get information, there is practically no public awareness. Its very sad. We are working on a few things, like a church or two and at the school, where we will be giving our presentation to the public. But for most part, this issue is rarely talked about. Its swept under the carpet.

Well that was my little angered rant. I may be a little harsh, but I am rather upset. Its makes me so sad, that when people need someone to talk to, so many turn away. Its ok, you will be alright, things are going to work out, you dont need to hurt yourself, God loves you...I love you. Man if we could only get that message out there.

Well if you are feeling moved checked out www.twloha.com good story good resource. If you have a friend who you think is cutting, just talked to them. You dont have to solve all thier problems, just be there if they need to talk. Let them know things will be ok, and that God is always there.

Thats all for now. If you do read this could you pleas say a prayer right now. A quick message out to God for those who need it to find help. Thank, and God bless